Olympic Hook Up
With the Zika virus and how much hooking up happens in the Olympic Village..
The Special Olympics are gonna be awesome in 12 to 14 years.
A guy has one arm and decides he doesn't want to go on with life, not being able to do the things other guys can do with two arms. So, he goes up to the 20th story of a building and is trying to build up the nerve to jump. As he's standing there a guy comes walking on the sidewalk below. The one-armed man notice's that this other guy has NO arms at all. He watches as the guy stops on the sidewalk and starts dancing and spinning in circles. The one-armed man thinks to himself how selfish he is? In that instance, he has one arm and is ready to end it all! So, he decides to go down and talk to the No-armed man. He goes down and walks up to the guy and says, "Hey man, I've been up on the 20th floor considering to end it all because I have only One arm! Here you are with No arms and are dancing around. What's your deal?" The guy with No arms says, "Arrrrr, dude I'm NOT happy! My nose itches!!"
Girl with One Leg
Q: What do you call a girl with one leg?
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis. "Incredible!" says his friend. "Medical science is amazing." Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!" says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!" Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday." The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."
Q: If girls with big breasts work at Hooters, then where do girls with one leg work?