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The best jokes and joke writers!

Can't Hear

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

Leper Hockey Game

Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?

A: There was a face-off in the corner.

Did the Hunchback Steal the Ball?

A hunchback is running along a street being chased by a pack of children. He stops, turns around and shouts, "Will you all get lost! I haven't got your bloody ball!"

Happens all the time

A guy starts talking to two women in a bar, they turnout to be Siamese twins, and they wind up back at his apartment. He makes love to one, and then starts to work on the other. He realizes that the first one might get bored watching, so he her asks what she'd like to do. She says, "Is that a trombone in the corner? I'd love to play your trombone." So she plays it while he screws her sister. A few weeks later, the girls are walking past the guy's apartment building. One of the girls says, "Let's stop up and see that guy." The other girl says, "Gee...do you think he'd remember us?"

Men With No Arms or Legs

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water

A: Bob.

Q   On the wall? 

A   Art.

Q   On the floor? 

A: Matt.