You Hear It Too?
There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, he too put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. So he turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"
Q: What's better than winning the gold medal at the special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded!
Q: Why did the big moron fall off the roof and the little moron didn't?
A: Because he was a little more on.
R.A.P.: Retards Attempting Poetry
An old woman in a Nursing Home looks up one day to find an elderly man looking down on her. She smiled and asked him what he wanted. "To get straight to the point, I know we are old and can no longer pleasure in sexual activity, but I was wondering if you would help me." "Of course," she smiled. "I was wondering if we could take a wander down to the park and if your could hold my penis for a while." The old woman saw no harm in it, so she agreed. Since then they made it a regular occurrence, and every day the two elderly people sat on the park bench and she held his penis. One day, the woman went to the bench, but the man was not there. Feeling hurt, she looked around for him. To her amazement, she saw him and another woman- SHE was holding his penis! "What does SHE have that I don't?" She screeched. He looked up at her and smiled. "Parkinsons" he replied.