Still Life

Q: What did the winner of the not moving contest get?
A: Atrophy

Dyslexic Satanist

Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
A: He sold his soul to Santa.

Too Close

The modest young lass had just purchased some lingerie and asked if she might have the sentence, "If you can read this you're too damn close" embroidered on her panties and bra. "Yes Madame," said the clerk. "I'm quite certain that could be done. Would you prefer block or script letters?" "Braille," she replied.