Buddies Go Inside Europe

Two friends, named Harry and George, go on a trip to Europe, where they have a great time. When they get back, Harry meets up with his pal Phil to tell him all about it. "One of the first places we went to was the leaning tower of Pisa. It was really neat." "Cool. Did you go up inside it?" "No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris. That was really neat." "Cool. Did you go up inside it?" "No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did go to visit Big Ben in London." "Cool. Did you go up inside it?" "No, we couldn't, since George is a cripple. But we did attend mass at the Vatican." "Really? What happened?" "Well, the Pope made the sign of the cross, and George dropped his right crutch, and he dropped his left crutch." "Cool. What happened then?" "George fell on his ass. He's a cripple, you know."

Pirate Interview

The pirate Red Beard was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter who was looking for juicy stories of excitement and derring-do. He told Red, "I'm sure my readers would love to hear the tale behind your pegleg." "Well, I was thrown from the ship during gale force winds, and before me mate could throw me a line, a shark bit me leg clean off!" The interviewer was sort of disappointed. "What about the hook at the end of your right arm?" "I lost it in a sword fight with the Captain of the Guard!" Again the reporter was disappointed. "Certainly there's an exciting story about the patch on your eye?" "One day, I was out on deck, and a bird flew over and pooped in me eye!" The reporter was amazed. "That's why you wear a patch?" "Well, I'd only had me hook a couple of days!"

Cruel Word

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?