A priest has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through hallways on a gurney by two nurses. "Am I in heaven?" asks the disoriented priest. "No" says one of the nurses, "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward."
Like Mother Like Daughter
A man takes his 10 year old daughter to the doctor. He says "Doctor, I want to put her on the pill." The Doctor says "Why?!? Is she sexually active?" The guy says "Nah, she just lies there like her mother."
Daddy, When Will I Get One?
A little girl goes into the toilet and sees her dad having a shower. It's at that moment she spots his penis. Pointing at it she says..... "Daddy, daddy, when will I get one of those?" The dad looks at the little girl, looks out the door, looks back at the little girl and winks.... "When your mommy goes to the mall!"
A guy rings work and says "I can`t come in to work today as I`m sick." The voice at the other end asks "How sick are you ?" The guy says "Well I`m in bed with my 12 year old son !!"
Q: How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw the light bulb and the other to screw the altar boy in the corner!