Dark Humor Jokes - Others

Cloris Leachman on Bob Saget:
"You didn't just kill sitcoms. You raped them and left them for dead, just like I did to Gavin MacLeod in 1975."

          Signs Your Partner is Addicted to Internet Porn

1. During foreplay, he's always double-clicking your G-spot.
2. His new computer includes a tissue dispenser.
3. When she wants you to take off your pants, she says, "Scroll down."
4. Tells everyone he's a pioneer in "palm computing."
5. He's suing Playboy.com for repetitive stress injuries.
6. Her favorite actor? Tommy Lee.
7. When he sees a hot babe, he wryly says, "Boy, I'd like to click on her."
8. You look deep into his eyes and see a faint image of Asia Carrera burned into his corneas.
9. As you undress, he takes out his credit card and tells you his birthday.
10. During sex, he shouts, "Refresh! Refresh!"
11. His version of foreplay: You lie naked on the bed with a sheet covering you... he pulls it down slowly for ten minutes.

Q: What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?

A: Their last big hit was The Wall.

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?" The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

I just saw a hot mom at McDonald's spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground

...so I threw my fries on the ground too.