Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Skydiving Lesson

My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first - timer questions. One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?" Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."

Categories: Airplane Jokes (Crash Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Sports Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Turkey Shoping

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Food Jokes (Meat-eater Jokes) , Holiday Jokes (Thanksgiving Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bar Window

Two guys are sitting in a fourth story bar drinking. The first guy stands up and says, "I'm done," and walks to the window, jumps out, then blows right back in. He says, "I knew it, the draft was too strong," and he sits back down.
A few minutes later, the other guy says, "I'm done," and jumps out the window and falls to his death. The bartender turns to the first guy and says, "Superman, you sure are an asshole when you're drunk!"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Bar Trick Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: bizzyb05