The Guy Who Invented the Hokey Pokey's Funeral

Earlier this week I went to the guy who invented the hokey pokey's funeral. It was a weird funeral. First they put his left leg in, then took his left leg out, they put his left leg in and they shaked it all about. Then they put his right leg in and then his right leg out, they put his left leg in and they shook it all about, and so on and so forth until he was totally in

Old Chatter

You know you're getting old when you tell someone you woke up with a stiffy and they think your wife died in her sleep.

Stiff Golfing

John and Brandon meet in the clubhouse of the golf course.  John says to Brandon, "I hear you had a tragedy while golfing last week."  Brandon says, "Yes, I was playing with David and at the end of the ninth hole he dropped dead!"  John says, "Someone told me you carried him back to the clubhouse. That must have been tough without a cart.  He weighed over two hundred pounds, right?"  Brandon says, "Well, the carrying part wasn't so hard.  It was putting David down for every stroke and picking him up again that got to me."