Best Friend Test

A friend will help you move.
A best friend will help you move a body!

The Mortitian

The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and was approached by his assistant.  "Anything interesting happen over-night", asked the mortitian.  "Yes", replied the assistant, "The most gorgeous 18 year-old blonde came in last night. Dead of course"  "What was the cause of death", inquired the mortition.  "I'm not sure",  replied the assistant. "But she's got a Prawn stuck up her cunt!"  "Are you sure?", said the Mortitian.  "Yes, come and have a look for yourself",  said the assistant opening the body bag.  The mortitian closely examined the beautifully trimmed snatch.  "That's not a prawn you stupid wanker", he responded, "That's her clitoris".  "Are you sure?", said the assistant,  "'Cuz it certainly tasted like a prawn".

Ex-Girlfriend

Sometimes I wonder about my ex girlfriends who I haven't seen in years. Has she become all fat and bloated, or has she become disgustingly skinny; or maybe someone has already found the body.