Time and Place
My best friend got mad at me sniffing his sister's panties. It didn't help that they were still on her. Or that all of his family was there too. Needless to say it made the rest of the funeral really awkward.
Necrophiliacs; the only living things that are stiff in a morgue.
Q: Why is a necrophiliac like a grave digger?
A: They both dig dead peoples holes.
Must Wear a Black Condom
A man walks into a whorehouse looking for a little action and he goes up to the house owner and asks, "Hey, can I get a piece from one of your fine ladies you've got here?" "Sorry sir," the owner responds, "but, we're all full." "Aw, please I really need some poon tang!" And the owner answers, "Well, there is one girl left but when you go meet her you have to wear this black condom." "Whatever," the man answers quickly and races upstairs. A few hours later the man comes down and says ''WOW! Wow, that was great. She didn't even make any noise. But why did I have to wear the black condom?" And the owner answers, "Respect for the dead."
Q: What does a Necrophiliac get at funerals?
A: Mourning Wood.