Arms, Heads, IQ

Q: What has 72 arms and 36 heads and has an I.Q. of 12?
A: A redneck bar on friday night

Scottish Builder

A Scottish old timer is in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man. The 0ld Man speaks, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the Fence-Builder? Nooooo!"  Then the old man gestured at the bar.  "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor, for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the Bar Builder? Nooooooo!"  Then the old man points out the window.  "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea... Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the Pier-Builder? Nooooo!"  Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention and says: "But ya fuck one goat......"

Bar Genie

A rich businessman enters a bar and announces he’s looking for a good deal. Before long an old man approaches him with an old lamp. “Excuse me sir, would you like to buy this very rare lamp?” “For how much?” The businessman asks. “Ten Thousand dollars. A steal, if you ask me. It is worth much more” The old man says.
“Ten Thousand dollars?" The businessman shouts, getting angry at the audacity of the old man, but the other interrupts him. “I understand your thoughts” the old man says quickly, “ but you see, this is a magic lamp. It has a genie inside it. Three wishes per person, no less!” “Oh, really? Show me, then” The businessman says mockingly.
“Well, of course. I saved my last wish just for this” the old man smiles as he rubs the lamp. To the businessman’s surprise, a genie really pops out! “What is your third wish, master?” The genie says majestically. The old man grins at the businessman’s mesmerized face before making his last wish. “A mug of coffee, please.”
The genie snaps his fingers, and a mug of coffee appears before the old man. The businessman stares slack-jawed at the mug as the genie disappears. The old man smiles. “Well?”
“I’ll buy it” The businessman replies immediately, writing him a check, taking the lamp and leaving before the old man can change his mind.
After getting home, the businessman runs the lamp hopefully, and sure enough, the genie appears. “What is your first wish, mas-” The genie starts, before being interrupted by the businessman.
“I wish for all the money I gave the old man, as well as a new yacht, a mansion and a limousine!” The businessman blurts out quickly. The genie stares at the businessman for a few seconds, then says awkwardly:
“M-my apologies master, I only serve coffee and tea.”