Man Wandering in the Desert
A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey. He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets pretty horny. He gets to the point where he can't stand it anymore. So he decides to try and have sex with the donkey. He drops his pants and positions himself under the donkey. But, to his dismay, the donkey walks away. Only slightly discouraged, the man decides to try again. He walks to where the donkey is standing, positions himself under the donkey, and right before he goes for it, the donkey walks away again. Now the man is getting frustrated. As he prepares for his third and final try, he sees a vision. A beautiful, naked woman appears out of nowhere. She approaches the stunned man, who until recently, believed that he was the only person for hundreds of miles. She smiles at him and says, ''I would do anything for that bowl of fruit you have." ''Anything?'' he says, getting fairly excited. ''Yes, anything.'' she replies. So he says, ''Will you hold the donkey!?''
My Rooster, Your Donkey
Q: If I have a rooster and you have a donkey, and your donkey bites off my rooster's feet, what do you have?
A: Two feet of my cock in your ass.
Bozo in Five Star Hotel
There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he's going with his donkey.
"Anywhere I go, she goes." "I'm sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you can't take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we'll take good care of her." So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn't want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was. ''Great!'' replied Bozo. ''How much do I have to pay?'' he asks. ''One thousand dollars for the food.'' ''But I haven't touched the food." ''It was right there, so you should have. Two thousand dollars for the TV." ''But I didn't even know how to turn the damn thing on!'' ''It was there, so you should have. Five thousand for sleeping on the bed." ''But I slept on the floor!''
''It was there. Your total is eight thousand dollars." ''You owe me ten thousand dollars for screwing my donkey.'' ''But sir, I didn't screw your donkey.'' ''It was there. You should have!''
Arkansas Driver's Ed Sex Ed
Q: Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education in the same day in Arkansas?
A: It's too hard on the mules.
American, Mule and Hot Dog
There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?' The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop." The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners." Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener while I scratch my ass?"