Jewish Dog Does Tricks
A man walks into a shul with a dog. The shammas comes up to him and says, "Pardon me, this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here." "What do you mean," says the man, "this is a Jewish dog. Look." And the shammas looks carefully and sees that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel round its neck this dog has a tallis bag round its neck. "Rover," says the man, "daven!". "Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kipa and puts it on his head. "Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it round his neck. "Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a siddur and starts to daven. "That's fantastic," says the shammas, "absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood, get him on television, get him in the movies, you could make a million dollars off of him!!" "You speak to him," says the man, "He wants to be a doctor."
Little Girl and Her Dog
A little girl and her dog are walking through the forest when they suddenly fall into a pit. They scramble and scramble but can't make their way out. The little girl yells, the dog barks, but no one is around to hear their calls for help. Slowly, the night sky turns black and they find themselves engulfed in utter darkness. Off in the distance, the wolves begin howling. Each howl is louder and closer than the last. The little girl holds the dog close to her chest and says sadly to the dog, "This is the worst mess in which ever have found ourselves, my darling Sparky." "Yeah," the dog says, "we're really screwed." "Sparky," the girl says, astonished, "I didn't know you could talk." "Well," the dog says, "I was kinda waiting for the right time to tell you."
Dogs With No Balls
Q: What do you call 5 dogs with no balls?
A: The Spice Girls!
K9 Special -Riddles
Q: What do dogs have that no other animal has?
A: Puppy dogs!
A man goes to a bar and he ties his Great Dane up outside. About 10 minutes later a lady comes in and asks who's Great Dane is outside. "Mine" says the man. "My dog has just killed him," she says. "What breed is your dog?" he asks. "A Chihuahua," she says. "How can a Chihuahua kill a Great Dane?" "He got caught in his throat!"