Q: What happened when Jake's dog Chester swallowed a box of fireworks?
A: I don't know, I haven't heard the last report.
Mutt In A Rut
Q: What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road?
A: A mutt in a rut!
Doggy Contact Lenses
Q: What dog wears contact lenses?
A: A cock-eyed spaniel!
Dog Tells Time
Q: What kind of dog tells time?
A: A watch dog.
A man rushed into the veterinarian's office carrying his dog, thoroughly distraught. The vet examined the dog's still, limp body and sadly informed the man that the dog was dead. Saddened at the loss of his best friend, the man asked the doctor if he could please try one last time to revive the dog. The doctor stepped into his other room and returned with a cat in a wire cage. He set the cage on the examining table and opened the sliding door. The cat got up, stretched, stepped out of the cage and slowly walked around the dog from head to tail sniffing the body. When it was finished, it looked up at the veterinarian with a “meow”, walked back into the cage and went back to sleep.The vet looked at the man and said in his best bedside manner, "I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do.” Resigned, the man signed and said, "Thanks for trying. How much do I owe you?" "Three-hundred fifty dollars," the doctor replied. "Thr . . . thr . . .three-hundred fif-fif-fifty bucks to tell me my dog is dead!" the man stammered. "Well, it was only $50 for the office visit. The other $300 is for the CAT scan."