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The best jokes and joke writers!

Elephant and Poodle

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle?

A: A dead poodle with an 18 inch asshole.

Butcher Shop

A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's his turn to be waited on. A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today. The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, "How many pounds?" The dog barked twice, so the butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef. He then said, "Anything else?" The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, "How many?" The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up a package of four pork chops. The dog walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse and take out the appropriate amount of money before tying the two packages of meat around the dog's neck. The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the dog. The dog walked for several blocks and then walked up to a house where it began to scratch the door to be let in. As the owner opened the door, the man called to the owner, "That's a really smart dog you have there." "He's not really all that smart," the owner replied. "This is the second time this week he forgot his key."

A New Dog Breed

Q:  What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?

A:  A dog that runs for help ... after it bites your leg off.

Dog Seat -Riddles

Q: Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?

A: Anywhere it wants to!

Does He Bite

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" "No."A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg. "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly. "That's not my dog."