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The best jokes and joke writers!

Tilting Cow

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?

A: Lean beef.

Worries about Mad Cow Disease

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replies, "I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."

Talk To Me

A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. "Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. "It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam. "No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches." "Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door." So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all. In fact, he heard no sounds at all. Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out. "Talk to me, baby." "Moo."

Under a Cow

Q: What do you get if you all sit under a cow?

A: A pat on the head!

Hundred Cows

Q: How do you get a hundred cows in a barn?

A: You hang up a bingo sign!