Don't Step On the Ducks

One night I dreamed I went to heaven. When I got there, St. Peter was waiting on me. He said, "Before we go in I need to tell you, don't step on the ducks!" So we walked in and I saw ducks EVERYWHERE! St. Peter was showing me around and we got pretty far when I saw a woman tied to a stinky man. Very very stinky. I asked, "Why are they tied together?" St. Peter said, "Because she stepped on a duck." So we walked a little more and we saw another woman tied to a very very VERY stinky man. I asked, "Why are they tied together?" St. Peter said, "Because she stepped on 2 ducks." So we went a little farther and I saw Hillary Clinton tied to a very handsome man. I said, "Well she must have done something really good." St. Peter said, "Nope, he stepped on a duck."

Roosters -Riddles

Q: Why aren't roosters rich?
A: Because they work for chicken feed.

Your Son is a Chicken

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."