Turkey Turn Over

Q: What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
A: If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

Ponderings Collection 34

• Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
• Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
• How come abbreviated is such a long word?
• If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
• Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
• Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
• When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!
• Do fish get cramps after eating?

Looks Good On A Lawyer

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman pinscher.