Cats and Women

1. Cats do what they want, when they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play they want to be left alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They're moody.
9. They leave their hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts.
Conclusion: Cats are small women in fur coats.

Insect jokes

• Q: Where would you put an injured insect?
  A: In an antbulance!
• Q: What's an insects best chat up line?
  A: Pardon me, but is this stool taken!
• Q: What has four wheels and flies?
  A: A garbage truck!
• Q: What happened to the man who turned into an insect?
  A: He just beetled off!
• Q: What is green and brown, has four legs and can kill you if it falls out of a tree and lands on you?
  A: A pool table?
• Q: What lives in gum trees?
  A: Stick insects!
• Q: How do we know that insects are so clever?
  A: Because they always know when you're eating outside!
• Q: What is the insect's favorite game?
  A: Cricket! 

Crossing Elephant & Whale

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with a built-in snorkel.