Getting Money's Worth

Once there was a guy that went in a whorehouse and says, "What can I get for five bucks?" The madam says, "Second door on the right and fuck whatever is there." He goes, sees a pig, figured "Whaddya want for five bucks?" and fucks it.
The next week he comes back and asks what he can get for $20. The madam says, "Second floor, second door on the right, watch what happens." He goes in, sits down and looks down, he sees a glass floor with a view of a guy fucking a chicken on the first floor. He says to the man next to him, "Look at him with the chicken. That's crazy." The guy responds, "You shoulda been here last week -- some guy was fucking a pig!"

Smartphone Bug

Q: Why was there a bug in the Smartphone?
A: It was looking for a byte to eat.

Watering the Camel

An old bloke in the Northern Territory was showing some tourists how to top up a camel with water. "That way," he said, "You get an extra day out of them between drinks." As the camel bent down to drink, the bloke picked up two bricks and bashed them over the camel's balls. The camel sucked in its breath and took on three days' extra water. "Doesn't that hurt?" asked a tourist. "Nah," replied the bloke. "Only if you get your fingers caught!"