International Airline Acronyms
Acronyms for International Air lines
Italy ALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In Arrival.
ALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia.
Britain BOAC = Better on a camel.
Belgium SABENA = Such A Bloody Experience Never Again.
Pakistan PIA = Please, Inform Allah.
Yugoslavia JAT = Joke About Time.
Pacific Western Airlines PWA = Pray While Aloft.
PWA = Please Wait Awhile Airlines.
Trans World Airlines = Teeney Weeny Airlines.
One of those discount airlines recently had a promotion where they offered free air-fare to wives who accompanied their husbands on a business trip. Seeking some valuable testimonials, the PR unit of the airline sent out letters to the wives who took advantage of the offer. I understand both written and telephoned responses are still flooding their offices asking, "What trip ?"
The huge Air Canada Jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport (Toronto) on its final approach. The pilot comes on over the intercom. "This is Capt. Johnson, we're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and enjoy your stay in Toronto".
Well the Capt. forgets to switch off the intercom. The whole plane can now hear the conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot says to the pilot, "Well skipper, wotcha gonna do in Toronto?"
Now all ears in the plan are listening in to this conversation. "Well", says the skipper, "First I'm gonna check into the hotel and go for a mega-huge dump. Then I'm gonna take that new stewardess out for supper, you know, the one with the huge tits. I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and slip the old salami to her all night".
Well, everyone in the planes trying to get a look at the new stewardess. She's so embarrassed she runs from the back of the plane to try and get to the cockpit to get the intercom off. Half way down, she trips over an old ladies handbag - ***splat *** and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says, "No need to run dearie, he's got to go for a shit first!"
Polish Parachute Lessons
A Polack wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Polack to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The Polack understood and was ready. The time came to have the Polack jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded the Polack that he would be right behind him. The Polack proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Polack. The Polack seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"
Q: Anyone need a job?
A: I hear Malaysia Airlines is looking for people.