Gay Mile High

Tom and Tim, both gay, were traveling on a plane. "Dude, what if we had sex?" asks Tom. "Are you crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it, said Tim."
"Nobody is paying attention to anything. Watch this." Tom stands up and asks loudly: "Could I please have a magazine?" Nobody looks at him. Everyone is sleeping, reading or looking out the window. "They really wouldn't notice then, would they?" said Tim.
So Tom and Tim have wild sex on the plane. Later, when the plane arrives to the airport and the people are leaving, the flight attendant sees an old man who puked all over his shirt and pants.
"Sir, you should've asked for a bag!" "I didn't dare" whispered the old man. "A few rows ahead I saw a man asking for a magazine and he got screwed in the ass..."

The Pilot's Pants?

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 398, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH MY GOD!" Silence. Then, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

Overloaded

A British Airways flight was headed towards Jamaica when the pilot makes an announcement; "Ladies and Gentlemen, our planes seems to be overloaded and we seem to be losing altitude. We will be offloading some baggage to help us on our way"... Half an hour later the pilot makes another announcement; "Ladies and Gentlemen we are still overweight and we regret to inform you we will be offloading passengers, but to be fair we will be doing it in alphabetical order"

"Will all Africans come to the front? Now can the Blacks, Coons and Darkies follow them?"

At the back of the plane a black man and his kid are ducked down looking nervous, the son says to his dad, "Dad, aren't we all of those people?" To which the father replies in a whisper, "yes son, but today we are NIGGERS"