Scared sleeping

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it.  I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. You gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."  "How much do you charge?", Shakey asked.  "A hundred dollars per visit." the Doctor said.  Well, "I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for just ten dollars.", said Shakey.
In complete disbelief, the psychiatrist said, "Is that so! How?".  "He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

Patient at a Psychiatrist

This guy goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor shows him an inkblot and asks him what it looks like. "A naked woman." He shows him another inkblot and asks him the same question. "A naked woman on a bed." "You're a sick pervert!" the psychiatrist exclaims. "I'm not the pervert. You keep showing me all these filthy pictures!"

How Did He Look?

A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions, but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry." At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex, that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?" "He was looking through the window at us!"