Psychiatrist and the Nympho

A woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"

Psychoanalysts

Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearable hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy.
"I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to drooling patients from morning till night on a day like this and still look so spry and un-bothered when it's over."
The older analyst said simply, "Who listens?"

Can You Help Me?

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?".  "I'm sure I can.", the psychiatrist replied,  "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."