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The best jokes and joke writers!

Antibiotic Humor

Q: Why should you handle metronidazole with care?

A: Because it's Flagyl

99 Condoms

A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping him he says, "I'd like 99 condoms please." With a surprised look on her face the pharmacist says, "99 Condoms!? Fuck me!" To which the guy replies, "Make it 100."

Pills

A gay guys walks into a pharmacy with his suppository prescription and approaches the front counter. He hands the prescription to the pharmacist and after confirming the prescription, the pharmacist asks him, "Okay sir, what kind of pills would you like?"

The guy looks around and over the shoulder of the pharmacist, and spots something he wants. He points at the wall and says, "I'll take that kind right there!"

The pharmacist looks at what he is pointing at and says, "Sorry sir, but you cant have that. It's our fire extinguisher!"

Pharmacist Booty Call

Your prescription for one large, um, suppository is ready for pickup.

First Time

I recall my first time with a condom. I was 14 . I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Bernen's pharmacy.

In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Carol) knew what they were for.

She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure.

She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, 'No, not really.'

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. Apparently I still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was. 'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She asked. 

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. 'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.' So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you put that condom on?' she asked. I said, 'sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.

She then beat the shit out of me.... Women have always been hard for me to figure out !