Asking For Money

A telemarketer was trying to make a particularly difficult sale. The person was just about to hang up, and the telemarketer said, "Look, pretend I'm your kid asking for money! What would you say?" Instantly the man hung up.

Why cannibals do not eat comedians?

Q: Why don't cannibals eat comedians?
A: They taste funny.

My Dad's the Best

Three young boys were fighting over whose dad was the best.
"My dad is so good he can shoot an arrow, run after it, get in front of it, and catch it in his bare hands." "My dad is so good that he can shoot a gun, run after the bullet, get in front of it and catch it in his bare hands." "I've got you both beat. My dad's so good because he works for the city. He gets off work at 5:00 and is home by 4:30."