Manly Signs

"Doctor, doctor!" shouted the woman coming into the doctors office. "I think I'm turning into a man" then the doctor says, "Now hold on little lady what makes you think that you're turning into a man?" "Well" said the woman "I'm starting to grow hair on my chest" and then the doctor asked, "Well then, how far down your chest is your hair growing?" and then she replied, "All the way down to my dick".

Stomach Pains

An extremely obese man with severe stomach pains goes to see a doctor. He can hardly stand, the pain is so bad. After an examination, the doctor is holding the x-rays and asks, "Did you at one time swallow a bullet?" The man answers, "Swallow a bullet? Of course not!" The doctor replies, "Well then, I'm afraid you've been shot!"

Quack, Quack

There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm. The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn't he like him or somethin'. The doctor replied, "No, its your ducks at the entrance... Every time I enter the farm, they insult me!"