Stating The Obvious

A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.
Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!
Nurse: What is it?
Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!

Eye Exam Instructions

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating." The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?" The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

Find Out About The Cat

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
 chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides. During one trip, the driver dropped her at a mall before he gassing up. The cat remained in the car, laying down on the top of the limousine's back seat. The service station's attendant often glanced at unusual passenger. Finally, he asked: "Sir, is that cat someone important?"