Law Firm Partners

Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."

When the Boy Started Kindergarten

When the boy started Kindergarten, the teacher asked all the children to give their first name. When she got to the little boy in the second row, he said: "I'll give you a hint. First it's in your hand, then it's in your mouth, and then it's in your tummy." The teacher smiled and said, "OK, Dick, sit down."

Lone Ranger and Tonto Troubles

One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to take a piss. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do." So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, Lone Ranger has been bit by a snake what do I do?" The doctor looks at Tonto and says, "You take a knife and make an x on the spot where he was bit, then you suck out the venim." Tonto thanks the doctor and rides back to Lone Ranger and Lone Ranger asks "What did the doctor say?" Tonto looks at Lone Ranger and says "Doctor say you gonna die!"