Your Repertoire.

Jacques Thibault, the violinist, was once handed an autograph book by a fan while in the green room after a concert. "There's not much room on this page," he said. "What shall I write?" Another violinist, standing by, offered the following helpful hint, "Write your repertoire."

Ideal Weight for a Lawyer

Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.

Lying Lawyer

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.