Ounces of Brain for Sale

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study and sees a sign remarking on the quality of a professional brains offered at the store.
He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.  "How much does it cost for an engineer brain?"
"Three dollars an ounce," replies the butcher.
"How much does it cost for a programmer brain?"
"Four dollars an ounce," replies the butcher.
"How much for lawyer brain?"
"$1,000 an ounce," replies the butcher.
"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"
The butcher says, "Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?!?"

Politics Profession

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. 

Shoe Repair

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.
"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked.
"Not very likely," his wife said.
"It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket.
He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter.
With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these." He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"
"No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time."
The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. "They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.