Driver Has No Money

Sign seen on the back of a truck: Driver carries no money, his wife has it!

Countdown

Q: Did you hear what happened to the human cannonball?
A: He got fired !

Feeling Guilty

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that small inner voice trying to reassure him, "Howard. Don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last." But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality, "Howard. You're a veterinarian."