Nurses to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many nurses does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twelve: One to do it. One to chart it. Ten to write the policy and procedure.

Real Cowboy

A handsome cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?" "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences... I guess I am," replied the cowboy. After a short while he asked her to share her story. "I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women," told the young woman. A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" "Well, I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian!"

Old Rabbit and Snake

One day there was a rabbit and a snake who were both growing old and could not remember what animal they were. "OK I'll describe you and then see if you can guess what you are," said the snake. "That's a good idea," said the rabbit. "You are white, fluffy, and you have big ears and feet," said the snake. "Oh good, I'm a rabbit! So the rabbit says, "You are long, slim, and have a forked tongue." "OH NO, I'm a lawyer!"