G's Business Lines

Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly
Goldenstern's Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman.
Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Gordian Maxim: If a string has one end, it has another.
Gordon's First Law: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
Gordon's Object Lifespan Theorem: No matter the amount of care given the purchased object, it will fuse/explode/disassemble within three days of warranty expiration.
Gordon's Warranty Law: All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment. 

Bermuda Triangle

Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

Golf Carts

Q: What kind of engine do they use in golf carts?
A: Fore cyclinder.