Definitions By Gender

THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female: Any part under a car's hood. Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male: Playing football without a helmet.
COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.
BUTT (but) n Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger." Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.
COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female: A desire to get married and raise a family. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female: A good movie, concert, play or book. Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion. Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.
MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2and1/2 min.

Anteaters

Q: Why don't anteaters get sick?
A: Because they are full of antibodies!

Lightbulb - Polacks

Q: How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light bulb.
A: 10. One to hold the lightbulb and 9 to spin the ladder around.