Smith Brothers

The last heir of the Smith Brothers cough drop empire recently died.
There'll be no coffin at his funeral.

Sleeping Like A Baby

While the U.S. stock market was at an all time high, the ups and downs frightened a lot of small investors. A guy went to his financial adviser at the bank and ask if he were worried. He replied that he slept like a baby. He was amazed and asked, "Really? Even with all the fluctuations?" He said "Yes, that's right. Just like a baby...I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours!"

Old Magicians

Old magicians never die, they just disappear