Better than Sex?

1. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
2. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
3. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
4. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
5. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
6. You can have chocolate on top of your desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
7. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
8. With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
9. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
10. Good chocolate is easy to find.
11. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
12. With chocolate size doesn't matter.

Top Ten Indicators that a Redneck Has Been Working on Your Computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM slots have truck parts installed in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Huntin".
4. The CPU has a gun rack mount.
3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

Victorias Secret Taboos

TOP TEN THINGS MEN SHOULDN'T SAY OUT LOUD AT VICTORIA'S SECRET
10. Does this come in children's sizes?
9. No thanks, just sniffing.
8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
7. Mom will love this.
6. Oh size won't matter, she's inflatable.
5. No need to wrap it, I'll eat it here.
4. Will you model this for me?
3. The Miracle what?!? This is better than world peace!!
2. $45 bucks?! You're just gonna end up naked anyway!!!!
And the number one thing that a man should NEVER, EVER say out loud in Victoria's Secret is:
1. Oh honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that!!!!!!