Top 10 Lists

Well, How Do I Look?

The Top Bad Response For Guys To Give To The "How Do I Look" Question

  1. "That's a great outfit honey but Halloween was 6 weeks ago."
  2. "I ain't seen a caboose that big since Amtrak left town."
  3. "Uh-uh, the last time I answered that question, I went temporarily blind."
  4. "Ssshhh, the games on right now... go look in the mirror, that's what its there for!!"
  5. "Oh man, I'm gonna lose my lunch."
  6. "Like the girl I was with yesterday."
  7. "Like someone in dire need for some liposuction."
  8. "Well, if I close my eyes, just like my previous, prettier girlfriend."
  9. "How can I put this... MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" 

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Dating Jokes) , Appearance Jokes , Top 10 Lists
Anonymous

10 Signs You Party Too Much

1. With a little effort, you could pull the bags under your eyes over your head.
2. When the professor calls out your name during attendance, you rhythmically cry out "In da' house!"
3. Your dirty laundry has become the closest thing to wall-to-wall carpeting.
4. Every study group you join gets fed up with your need to take a break for techno and grinding.
5. All your stories begin with, "I was so wasted..."
6. Your Native American name would've been "Man of Running Body Fluids."
7. You refer to sunlight as a "that bright shit."
8. You look forward to the weekdays as a time to relax.
9. Whenever you see a blinking "Do Not Walk" sign, you think how great it would look if you were on ecstasy.
10. All your stories end with, "...and that's when everything got blurry."

Categories: Alcohol Jokes , School Jokes (College Jokes) , Top 10 Lists
Anonymous

Top 10 Christmas Jokes

10. Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast? A: Snowflakes!

9. Q: Why does Santa have three gardens? A: So he can ho-ho-ho!

8. Q: Where do snowmen go to dance? A: Snowballs!

7. Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed? A: He had low ELF esteem!

6. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark? A: Frostbite!

5. Q: Where do you find reindeer? A: It depends on where you leave them!

4. Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch? A: Icebergers!

3. Q: What do reindeer have that no other animals have? A: Baby reindeer!

2. Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? A: Claustrophobic!

1. Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!

Categories: Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes) , Top 10 Lists , Riddles
Anonymous