Gunpoint

A terrorist was holding a dad at gunpoint:
Terrorist: "Say your last words!"
Dad: "Your last words!"
Terrorist: "What? ugh, you Americans. Be serious!"
Dad: "Okay, I'll be Sirius. Who are you going to be?"
Terrorist: "Stop. Why isn't this scaring your?"
Dad: "Nothing really scares me anymore; not since I saw that monster henway."
Terrorist: "What's a 'henway'"?
Dad: "About a pound and a half."
Terrorist: "Stop! I'm serious!"
Dad: "Hi Sirius! I'm Dad!"

Extreme Uber

A Muslim Extremist orders an Uber. His uber driver arrives so he gets in the car and then asks the driver a question.
Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have radio?
Driver: no.
Extremist: so why do you have the radio on?
Driver: turns off radio
The extremist then asks another question:
Extremist: in the time of Muhammad did they have air conditioning?
Driver: no.
Extremist: so why are you using it?
Driver: turns of the air conditioner
The driver decided to ask the extremist a question.
Driver: in the time of Muhammad did they have Uber?
Extremist: obviously not.
Driver: then get the fuck out!

On Jeopardy

Trebek: The category is "Political Subversion". The answer is: This entity is dedicated to the destruction of religion, morality, and the American way of life.
Player: What is the KGB?
Trebek: Be more specific.
Player: What is PBS?
Trebek: Right!