Terrorist Jokes

Q: Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee?

A: 'Cause they hate the French press.

Barbara Walters, of Television's 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Ms. Walters' vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands, and are happy to maintain the old custom. Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?' The woman looked Miss Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, 'Land Mines.' Moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak and where you go): BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN

Q: When does a pentagon not have five sides?

A: When it's intersected by a plane

Q: What does Osama Bin Laden and General Custer have in common? 

A They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!

One day Saddam Hussein was walking in the desert and he stubbed his toe on some hard object. He bent over to pick it up and a Genie popped out. "Oh great," Saddam said, "I don't have time for this Genie nonsense." "Oh wait," said the Genie, "You have to let me grant you three wishes or I'll be trapped in that stupid lamp for another ten thousand years." "Okay," said Saddam, so he wished that the Genie would give him three American women. So the next morning when he woke up, after the Genie had realized who this man was and after the Genie had granted the wishes, Tanya Harding, Garcella Bevoux, and Hillary Clinton laid next to him. His knee was bashed in, his penis was gone, and he had no health insurance.