Answering Machine - Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
Monty Python Answering Machine
English accent: Hello, you've reached the phone of Monty Python. I can't come to the phone right now because the witch has turned me into a newt! I'll call you back when I get better.
Answering Machine - Color Shirt
Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of shirts. We'll get back to you if we like the color.
Change my Number
The phone rings, woman answers. A pervert, with heavy breathing, says, "I bet you have a tight ass with no hair."
Woman replies, "Yes I do, he's watching golf, who shall I say is calling?"
President's Answering Machine
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.