Answering Machine - Joe Friday

In Joe Friday voice: This is Constable Augie of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service. The phone line you have just dialed is currently under investigation on a warrant issued by the Attorney General of Canada. To facilitate our investigation, we would appreciate you leaving your name, number, a brief message, and any affiliations you may have made now, or in the past, with communist or terrorist organizations. Thank you. 

Bowling Alley Prank Call

Call a bowling alley, and ask, "Do you have 10 lb. balls?"
When the attendant says yes, ask, "Then how the hell do you walk?"

Answering Machine - Aussie

(Aussie accent:) Hi, how 'ya doin', listen, I'm not here, but I tell ya what, this anserin' machine is so clever, I kid you not, if you don't leave a message -- it'll ring 'ya back and ask for one! Bye.