Sports Jokes

Patriots Guilty

Q: Why did the NFL rule that the entire Patriots team was guilty in the #deflategate scandal?
A: Because all men would know if their balls were smaller than usual when they started playing with them.

Anonymous

Patriots Admit Guilt

Q: What did the Patriots say about #deflategate in their press conference?
A: The Patriots said it was true, they did deflate the Colts balls during the championship game.

Anonymous

Golfing with Nuns

This guy unexpectedly got the day off and decided he would spend it on the golf course. After arriving at the club house, he was told that the only way he could play today was if he was willing to play along with three nuns. He agreed and set off with the nuns in tow. At the first hole he said, "After you", and the nuns insisted that he go first. He took a giant swing and sliced it into a nearby bunker. "Goddammit!" he said. "Oh, my, please refrain from using that kind of language around us," said the nun. "I'm so sorry, ma'am, it won't happen again." The nun gets up to the tee and her ball travels about twenty yards, hits a tree, and bounces back behind them. "Well shit, Goddamn, hell, fuck!" exclaims the nun. "Hey, what did you tell me about that?" asks the man. "Yeah, well, you didn't hit a fuckin' tree."

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Anonymous