Vikings And Opossums

Q: What do the Vikings and opossums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Golfers' Sonnet

I think that I shall never see, a hazard rougher than an tree;
A tree o'er which my ball must fly, if on the green it is to lie;
A tree which stands that green to guard, and makes the shot extremely hard;
A tree whose leafy arms extend, to kill the six iron shot I send;
A tree that stands in silence there, while angry golfers rave and swear.
Irons were made for fools like me, who cannot ever miss a tree.

Sweet Spot

Hey babe, want to see the sweet spot on my bat? High five!