Priest Swimming Lessons

A priest is teaching a nun how to swim and the nun says to the priest "Will I really sink if you take your finger out?"

Beauty or Body

She: What do you love most, my natural beauty or my body?
He: Your sense of humor.

Car Needs a Fixin!

My wife came home yesterday and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is."  I asked her what it was and she told me it has water in the carburetor.  I thought for a moment, then said, "You know I don't mean this badly, but you don't know the carburetor from the accelerator."  "No, there's definitely water in the carburetor" she insisted.  "OK, Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"  "In the lake!"