Women Speak, Men Speak

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Ten Reasons Adam Was the Luckiest Man

1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married.
2. He had no in-laws to drop in.
3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with.
4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers.
5. He never had his dinner interrupted by window salesmen.
6. He got away with wearing a simple wardrobe.
7. He never had to shovel snow!
8. If he had gone bald, who would have known that wasn't normal.
9. There was no "standard weight and height" tables - and the word FAT meant good.
10. When God asked "Adam, where are you?" He replied, "The woman you gave me was reading the map."

Feel Like a Woman

Girlfriend Tell me something to make me feel like a woman! She said excitingly with a smile on her face..... tell me, tell me tell me she said as she wrapped her arms around her boyfriend but the boyfriend stands quietly..she says again come on tell me!
The boyfriend holds her close, looks deep into her eyes and then moves in closer and whispers: "you don't know how to park"