The Old Man's Bird

There's an old man laying on the beach naked and a little girl passes by. She stops and stairs at the man and asked "mister what is that thing between your legs?" The man says "oh that , well the thing that is standing is the bird the two things on the side are the eggs and the thing around it is the nest." The old man asked her to leave so he can get some sun. He falls asleep,  when he wakes up there are paramedics around him. He asked what happen.The paramedic said  "ask the little girl." The old man calls her over " what happened?" The little girl said "when you went to sleep I tried to make the bird fly, I pulled and pulled but he got big and spit at me so I kicked the bird, smashed the eggs and burned the nest..

Cavemen Logic

Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by their hair?
A: Because if they dragged them by their feet, they would fill up with mud.

Two Old Friends

Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what´s been going on since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally asked "How is she in bed?" First guy replies "She´s fantastic, she sucks like a real man!"