We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Viagra Contraband

A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 20?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 10?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it -- my wife isn't."

Viagra and Disney Land

Q: What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?

A: They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!

Kill My Appetite

A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee to follow?" she asks. He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It has really taken the edge off my appetite." At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of home- made soup, home-made muffins or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires. He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. She'll go to the store and buy him some food. "Would you like maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe you'd like a pizza micro waved or a tasty stir-fry? That would only take a couple of minutes." He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." "Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up, then? I'm starving!"

Dentist Rx

A man goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted. She pulls out a large syringe to give him an anesthesia shot. "No way, no needles! I hate needles!" the man exclaims. So she starts to hook up the nitrous oxide tank and the man says, "I can't do the gas thing either. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me." The dentist then asks the patient if he had any objections to taking a pill. "No," he says, "I'm fine with pills." So the lady dentist gives him two little blue pills and he swallows them. "What did I just take," he asked. "Viagra," replied the dentist. "I'll be damed," said the man. "I didn't know Viagra works as a pain killer." "It doesn't, said the wise lady, "But it'll give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."

Geriatric Lovemaking

You know your grandparents are doing it when...

  1. A pair of edible Depends is found on bedroom floor.
  2. Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass.
  3. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of "denture-burn".
  4. Granny is found cuffed to her walker.
  5. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.
  6. Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa's crotch and claps twice.
  7. Your "Grandma" is Anna Nicole Smith.
  8. You've just seen the photos in the "Beaver Hunt" section of the May issue of Hustler.
  9. Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies.
  10. Their Craftmatic adjustable bed is set for "doggy style".