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The best jokes and joke writers!

Lawn Sex

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly, he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then, he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then, another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was. "This is a brothel" replied the madam.

"Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man.

"Oh, we're having a yard sale today."

Hooker Progress

Three generations of hookers were sitting around the brothel one day just talking about the business. The youngest one complained, "You know Mom and Grandma, now guys want a blow job and a fuck for $100! I don't think I can stay in business at those prices."Her Mom thinks for a while and says, "Well dear, in my day we would give a blow job and for only $25 and we considered ourselves lucky to get that!" Grandma looks at her daughter and her granddaughter and says, "The both of you don't know what tough times really are. Back during the depression we used to give blow jobs for free because we were just glad to get something warm in our stomachs!"

Because I'm That Good

A hooker brings a client to her condo on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago. The client asks her if she gives good hand jobs. "You see this condo? I bought it by giving good hand jobs." Her client tells her to give him a hand job. Afterwards, he is impressed and asks her if she gives good blow jobs. "Look out the window. See that red Ferrari on the street? I bought it by giving good blow jobs." Her client asks her to give him a blow job. Afterwards, he is really impressed and asks her if she is good in bed. "Look out the window. See that big yacht out there on Lake Michigan? I could own that if only I had a vagina."

Expensive Date

I went out with my girlfriend and asked her, "Why is it every time I go out with you, I end up spending hundreds of dollars?" She answered, "Because I'm a prostitute."

Two Appointments At Once

Q: Did you hear about the call girl who accidentally made two appointments at the same time?

A: She managed to squeeze them both in.