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Sex Jokes - Private Parts
Penile Operation
A guy who has a stuttering problem goes in to his doctor and says, "Ex-ex-ex-cu-cu-se m-m-me d-d-oc but I I I have th-th-this st-st-stuttering problem and I I I was wo-wondering if you c-c-c-could help m-m-m-me."
"Well take off your clothes and get into this gown and let me check you over." The guy gets into the gown and the doc begins his check-up. The doctor is quite surprised: "I see what the problem is. Your penis is so large that it's pulling on you abdominal muscles which in turn is causing a strain on your vocal chords."
"W-w-w-well c-c-can you h-h-help m-m-me?"
"Sure I can but we'll need to cut off about 8 inches."
"I-I-I-I can't t-t-t-take this an-any more do it."
Six months later the guy goes back to the doc. "Well doc, I must say that the operation was a great success, but my sex life really sucks and I would like my operation reversed. Please put back what you took off."
The doc replies "F-f-f-f-f-fuck off!"
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High Wind
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down,then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
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His Penis Has Died
An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses' office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. "It did? I'm sorry to hear that," she replied. Two days later, Mr. Smith was walking down the halls at the nursing home with his penis hanging outside his pants. Nurse Jones saw him and said, "Mr.Smith I thought you told me your penis died". "It did" he replied; "today is the viewing"
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