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Sex Jokes - Private Parts
The Bobbitt Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my penis I will keep
And if I wake and it is gone, I hope to find it on the lawn
I hope the dog that's running free, doesn't see that little part of me
Many precautions I must take, to keep this part I love to shake
Much attention I must pay, to assure I put the knives away
The mower, chain saw, the hatchet too, why there's no telling what she'd do
To rid me of my manly charm, I must keep it safe, away from harm
So I cross my fingers as I close my eyes, and I cross my legs to avoid surprise!
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How Do You Get Visual Aids?
Q: How do you get Visual Aids?
A: From a nasty poke in the eye.
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Don't Cut
An American has sex with a Soviet woman and catches a strange venereal disease causing a green ring around the base of the penis. The American goes to a doctor who says he's never seen anything like it, but his penis would probably have to be amputated. Wanting another opinion, he then goes to another doctor, who also doesn't know anything about this decease, but agrees that amputation is indicated.
Deeply distressed, the patient decided to go to a Soviet doctor, figuring he may be familiar with this strange form of venereal disease. Indeed, the Soviet doctor says, "I know this decease! Your American doctors always want to cut. Don't do anything. Two week later, prick fall off by himself!"
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